The park is empty; we have the swings to ourselves and can make ourselves nauseous on the roundabout. We lie on our backs on the cut grass and squint into the sun. “It’s snowing!” G calls gleefully, waving her arms in the air. Against the blue, drifts of dandelion seeds are parachuting on the breeze. […]
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Warning: this mother is alarmed
The recession has hit us all, and our economy drive has now extended to our days out. Last weekend we visited a Railway Centre in the next county. Not everyone’s cup of tea, granted, and to be frank my pre-children outing list would no more have included a train-spotting expedition than my wardrobe would have […]
My children use bodily fluid as a weapon
In my quest to write something funny I sought out my husband’s views; “I could shag you in the kitchen again – that seemed to go down well”, he said hopefully. Ignoring his crestfallen face I dismissed his suggestion out of hand; “That’s old hat. It has to be something new, something off the wall. […]
Funny ha ha, or funny peculiar?
fun·ny (fn)adj. fun·ni·er, fun·ni·est1.a. Causing laughter or amusement.b. Intended or designed to amuse.2. Strangely or suspiciously odd; curious.Thousands of bloggers nominated their favourite on-line writers in the recently launched Mummy And Daddy (MAD) blogging awards, celebrating the brilliance of British parent bloggers. I voted. And not for myself, either, however a few of you must […]
Is there room in your life for a little fascism?
A few weeks ago the pygmies were rampaging around a friend’s house with twenty other children, trooping ant-like up and down stairs, swarming over sofas and leaving a trail of party bag contents behind . I looked at the clock and made some swift calculations; just time for a nap in the car and home […]
Sunday Morning Slut
It’s Sunday morning and the children are playing happily together. I seize the moment and disappear upstairs with my husband… There is a knock at the door and I grab my dressing gown. “Leave it”, my husband says. “They’ll think we’re out”. The knocking continues and I hear my three year old shouting through the […]