Relationships

I saw a friend yesterday I haven’t seen for some time.  As I leant forward to kiss her she recoiled in horror.  “What on earth are you doing?” I had forgotten that she doesn’t ‘do’ kissing. Once I’d reassured her that my sexual preferences had not changed, I wondered what the etiquette was around greeting […]

My husband asked me to show the nanny how to clean the filter in the tumble dryer.  “It’s supposed to be emptied every time it’s used – I don’t think she’s ever done it.”   For some reason remonstrating with the domestics has become my responsibility.  I’m not quite certain how this happened, but any dirty […]

I am a Very Cold Person.  Not emotionally, you understand, (in fact I’m prone to outbursts more befitting one from a Mediterranean upbringing than the stiff-upper-lipped Home Counties) I’m just always freezing.  Perversely I love the winter, when it is totally acceptable to don layer upon layer of knitted garments and wear a hat indoors.  […]

One of the many challenging aspects of sharing my house with two other adults (in my case the nanny and my husband) is that I can never be quite certain at whom to direct my wrath when something goes awry.  Was it my husband who left the Wensleydale unwrapped, or the nanny?  Was that wet […]

My husband has spent much of the last week wrinkling his nose in distaste every time he comes into the kitchen. “Why does it smell of dead people in here?” “It’s probably the bins.  I’ll take them out.” It’s not the bins. My husband has a sense of smell akin to that of a blood […]

Last week I had a heavy breather on the phone.  I think I was a bit of a disappointment.  You see, I can’t do dirty talk.  I once had a boyfriend who liked me to chat while we were having sex.  He wasn’t interested in the Boden sale or what I’d do if I won […]