There is a piece of equipment in my gym called the Power Plate. I think it stemmed from a celebrity craze a few years ago, when Madonna appeared at some event looking even more svelte than usual. Women everywhere started installing Power Plates in their living rooms, for the ultimate workout whilst watching Coronation Street. […]
Thinking
Joining the gym
I have just joined the gym. This is not an entirely new venture in my life – prior to having children I was a regular gym bunny – but it is rather like hauling my pre-children clothes from the back of the wardrobe and expecting them to fit. It’s been a while since I took […]
Frost
At this time each year I hibernate. For five weeks between November and Christmas I shut out the cold and wish away the long weeks which went so quickly when they cradled a child. Grief overtakes me like the frost creeping over anything uncovered, its silvery chill frosting every path. If I stay indoors, if […]
Showing off my assets
A fortunate side effect of some medication I’m taking is the acquisition of enormously enhanced breasts. Well, when I say enormously enhanced, I’m doing so in the context of one whose spaniel ear bosoms lost any zest for life when they finished producing milk for four children in eighteen months. I’ve never had good breasts, […]
Finding my rhythm
It all felt like a very good idea a few months ago. Now that I’m actually here ten kilometres seems like an insane distance to run, especially given that my training regime has largely consisted of eating cake and drinking Pinot Grigio. I really wish I’d gone for a different outfit – this sleek Lycra’s […]
Losing the baby weight
When you’re pregnant there comes a point where you worry you’ll stay that big forever. It’s around the time you start wearing flip-flops because you can’t reach your feet and your husband’s gone to work without putting your socks on for you. You wonder if eating your own body-weight in Haribo was such a good […]