Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice. I wonder when I watch my son play without a brother, when I celebrate milestones which should have come in pairs. I wonder if the doctors were wrong in their gloomy prognosis of a child without a future. I wonder what would have happened if we […]
Thinking
Escaping the Lycra
I have an office on the third floor. It has a lock on the door which is handy for when I return from a run through the city streets and get back into my work things. I’m pretty serious about running, and I train in the right kit. I have painfully expensive trainers and a […]
My stomach and me: marks of a multiple mum
Yet another celebrity mum is snapped stretching out on a beach in a skimpy bikini, three months after having a baby. I groan and push the offending magazine back into the rack, slinking out of the newsagent in despair. I try in vain to convince myself that she was never pregnant in the first place; […]
The right to choose
There have been times over the last few years when the hospital has been as familiar to me as my own home. I’ve slept there, kept my milk in the fridge, given the Women’s Centre as my postal address and wandered around in my slippers. I’m no longer daunted by white coats or blue scrubs. […]
Identity crisis
There are times when I worry I will disappear entirely under the weight of identities I carry about me as I weave through life. First and foremost I bear the badge of Motherhood, and although the toddler cries of ‘Mu-mmy!’ will in time give way to teenage grunts of ‘Mum!’, my identity will never change. […]
Escape from despair
This post follows on from my descent into madness, and is for Iota, who wanted a happy ending. There had to be a way out of the darkness. Somehow, in amongst the thick mire of despair that enveloped me, there had to be a beacon of light to guide me back towards sanity. I sat […]