It’s hard to go anywhere nowadays without some mention of the word ‘networking’. There are business breakfasts and entrepreneur evenings springing up left, right, and centre, and any event longer than half an hour will invariably incorporate a ‘coffee and networking’ session into its agenda. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if toddler groups were rebranded as networking meetings.
I like networking. I like talking, which helps, and I’m fascinated by people and their stories, so it’s never a hardship to listen to someone else talk. I also gain a perverse sense of satisfaction from my ability to inveigle myself into a group of people. As almost all the jobs and freelancing gigs I’ve ever had have been as a result of networking, I’m entirely convinced of the benefits. Lots of people hate it, though. The very thought that they might be expected to make conversation with a complete stranger brings them out in hives, and so I thought I’d share my top tips on how to do it.
1. DO SOME PREP
You can’t always do this, but if you’re provided with a list of delegates in advance, think about who you might want to talk to. Often I see a name badge that rings a bell: a discreet Google will remind me who they are, what they’ve written, what business they run. Targeting your networking saves time and is more effective, and a spot of judicial flattery goes a long way. ‘I read that piece you wrote on such-and-such…’
2. MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE
No, not like that… but there’s a terrible temptation to get out your phone and make yourself look busy and important, to hide the fact that you feel like a wallflower at the school disco. Leave your phone in your pocket, look around, stick a smile on your face and let them come to you!
3. CHOOSE YOUR TARGET WISELY
Look round the room: who’s standing on their own, looking as awkward as you feel? If you can’t bear the thought of breaking into a group of people, go and speak to someone on their own. If you want to push into a group, the bigger the better: there’s nothing more awkward than becoming the third wheel of a conversation between two people.
4. MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL
Lately I’ve found myself more often the host than the guest, which is a far nicer position to be in (apart from the work involved, of course) because you always have something to do. My favourite role is to hand round canapés: it’s a great way to work a room quickly and speak to lots of people, and a brilliant strategy for escaping tedious conversation. ‘Excuse me, I really must pass these filo prawns around…’ Depending on the event, look for ways in which you could be useful. Passing round the sign-up sheet for emails, or collecting the post-it notes with everyone’s scribbled suggestions means you have a ready-made excuse to interrupt conversations and hang around if it seems interesting.
5. HAVE SOME OPENERS READY
Keep some first lines up your sleeve to kick start the conversation. I’m not a fan of launching with an introduction – it doesn’t take you anywhere, and can feel horribly awkward – so I generally muscle in with a question. ‘How are you finding the conference?’ ‘Have you been to one of these before?’ or, more often than not, ‘Ooh, mini-quiches, are there any left?’
6. KEEP YOUR CONTACT DETAILS HANDY
I once went to a networking event wearing a dress with no pockets. I had left my handbag at the table, and felt rather proud that I had remembered to take out my business cards first. With nowhere else to secrete them, I tucked them into my bra. It was only later, when I was handing over a warm and slightly breast-shaped card to a marketing director looking for a copywriter, that I realised it wasn’t such a good move. You don’t have to have expensive business cards – a slip of paper with your details on it is fine – but have them with you. And wear something with pockets.
7. TAKE MORE BUSINESS CARDS THAN YOU GIVE OUT
I give out very few cards at networking events, but I collect lots. It’s no different to the dating game. What’s better: giving him your number and sitting by the phone, or taking his number and being in control? I know which position I’d rather be in. Scribble notes on the back of any useful cards you take to remind you what they looked like (be polite – it’s mortifying if you drop one), where you met them, and anything specific you spoke about. The same principle, incidentally, applies to making conversation: listen more than you talk.
8. KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE
Once you’ve successfully cracked the inner sanctum of a group it’s tempting to stay put, but that’s not really the point of networking. Keep an eye on the body language of the person you’re speaking to: are they looking away, scanning the room or casting longing looks towards the exit? Are their feet pointing away from you? Do they simply look bored? Ideally you want to leave before that point, but don’t stretch it out any further. Tell them it’s been lovely, even if it hasn’t, and make your excuses. ‘I must just try to catch so-and-so…’, ‘We should probably speak to some other people…’, ‘ooh look, there are the mini-quiches…’
9. BE GENEROUS
If you find networking easy – and even if you don’t – be generous to those who are wishing they were in the dentist’s chair having root canal work, rather than standing in this room full of people. If someone sidles up to your group and doesn’t say anything, say hello – ask them a question. Don’t just leave them standing there with their cheeks burning, desperately trying to think of something profound to say.
10. FOLLOW THROUGH
There’s no point in networking if you’re not going to do anything with it. Drop an email to the people you met and say what a pleasure it was to meet them. Even if you don’t think it’ll be a useful connection – although I’d argue you never really know – it’s good manners and good practice to follow up a meeting. I rarely talk business in these emails, unless there’s an obvious reason to, but often mention something we discussed. ‘I’ve just remembered the name of that film we couldn’t think of!’, ‘Here’s a link to that book I mentioned’, and of course: ‘I don’t suppose you have a recipe for those mini-quiches?’
Easy. Now, where did I put that business card?