I have identified a major problem in all of my children. They appear to be physically incapable of closing doors, cupboards and drawers. It’s possible they may have something terribly wrong with them. After all, they can certainly open the coat cupboard, the playroom drawers and the cupboard in which we keep the cereal. They just can’t close them again.
Should I be worried? Could this affliction be serious? Now that I think about it, the same phenomenon seems to be affecting my husband, who is able to easily open the door to the washing machine and fling in his dirty clothes, but whose body clearly rebels against closing the same door to start the cycle. I can only conclude that the disease is contagious.
Presumably it is only a matter of time before I, too, am struck down by this vicious and all-pervading syndrome. What on earth will we do, when I am no longer able to follow my family around the house, shutting doors for them and putting the lid back on the biscuit tin?
Interestingly, despite living under the same roof as these apparently disease-ridden individuals for many years, I do not appear to be exhibiting any symptoms. Why, only this morning I closed my husband’s wardrobe door, three kitchen cupboards and every drawer in the playroom, before I had even had my first cup of tea.
It seems I am immune. What a relief for us all.