Ah, the end of the school term. Traditionally a time to reflect on one’s performance and consider areas for improvement.
So how did I do?
Let’s compare my performance at the start of the term, a mere ten or so weeks ago, with the final week of term.
Then: packed lunches made the night before school, containing a variety of home-made delicacies such as pesto pinwheels and scotch eggs, two pieces of fruit and a pot of natural yoghurt, lovingly decanted into a miniature Tupperware and drizzled with honey.
Now: packed lunches hurled into boxes at 8.15 each morning whilst I scream randomly about who’s eaten all the fruit, eventually defaulting to hyperactive fromage frais, a packet of crisps and a jam sandwich made with the end slices no-one wants to eat.
Then: a leisurely walk to the bus stop, pausing every now and then to comment on a snail-shell, the view or to greet elderly neighbours.
Now: a frantic race up the hill, bellowing at the children to KEEP MOVING!, inadvertently stepping on said snails and glaring at elderly neighbours who attempt conversation.
Then: clean white polo shirt every day, knife-creases ironed into shirt and trousers and school sweatshirt carefully pressed. Uniform laid out before bed each night, ready for the next day.
Now: shirts in varying shades of grey, nothing ironed and sweatshirt mishapen thanks to a run-in with the hottest setting of the tumble dryer. Uniform balled up and thrown on the floor each night, ready for the next day.
Then: no television until after all homework has been finished, supper has been eaten and children are ready for bed.
Now: CBeebies timed to switch on approximately thirty seconds after arrival home from school.
Have you done any better?