My husband and I have identified the ideal time to have sex. It’s taken a few years but we’ve finally reached a compromise. I like it in the morning, he likes it in the evening. He’s grumpy and tired in the morning, I’m shattered by bedtime. So we’ve settled on around 6.30pm, when the girls go to bed and their brother zones into CBeebies for half an hour’s wind-down before his own bed-time.
As we settled down to it I heard J call from the playroom;
“Mummy, can I have some milk?”
“Yes, darling, I’ll be down in a minute”
I wonder if all my friends are this distracted while they’re having sex. If any of them still have the kind of head-banging, mind-blowing sex we used to have before marriage and kids. God I hope not. I really hope it’s not just me adding sex onto my list of things to do;
Put air in buggy tyres
Buy milk
Book car in for MOT
Worm the cat
Have sex
“Mummeeeeeeee, can I have my drink now?”
“I’m coming!”
My husband looked smug.
“No”, I said, “not in that way”.
Oh bollocks, I never did worm the cat.