It’s not easy finding suitable childcare for one’s offspring. Should you choose to hire a nanny, you might find it useful to read some of the top tips I’ve gleaned over the last few years.
When hiring a nanny it’s essential to consider the following points;
1. How attractive is she?
You don’t want one so plain she’s an eyesore to have around the house, but neither should you select a girl so pretty you’re concerned about her proximity to your pyjama’d husband. The perfect nanny is somewhere in the middle.
3. How much does she eat?
Where possible, try to hire a nanny with an obsessive dieting history. This will bring down your food bills and make the bread last longer. But on no account should you choose a nanny who is slimmer than you (see above).
4. Do you have somewhere to hide your personal effects?
Remember when you used to babysit for the people next door, and you’d rummage through their drawers? The nanny can do that all day. If you don’t want photos of your Rampant Rabbit on Flickr, lock it up.
5. Is she on Facebook?
The youth of today are shockingly lax about their privacy settings. Find her account and stalk her mercilessly. You’ll be glad you did when she brags about the duvet day she’s planning for next Tuesday. Do not under any circumstances be tempted to befriend her.
6. Is her name similar to yours?
Our current nanny has the same name as me. This means that when my children call me by the wrong name, I can pretend they’re actually asking for me, and be consumed by guilt because they see the nanny more than they see me. Consider asking your nanny to change her name by deed poll, if it’s very different to yours. Or you could change yours.
7. Have you given Calpol to the children?
Prior to any interview with prospective nannies I would strongly advise administering a ‘just in case’ dose to the children. Their glazed expressions will be mistaken for docility.
If you keep the above tips in mind while you search for a nanny, you will enjoy a long and happy relationship.