Parents are warned to be vigilant after UK-wide sightings of the Time Thief reach an all time high in the run up to the start of the school term. Particularly prevalent among communities with a high population of young children, the Time Thief preys on the vulnerable and the needy, stealing time from parents of children aged 0-7 years. So accomplished is the Time Thief, that some mothers won’t even notice they are missing time at all, until they look up from their copy of Fifty Shades to discover a ninety minute DVD appears to have finished in about five minutes. On the rare occasion parents find themselves sans enfants – a morning at nursery perhaps, or a day with grandma – they shake their watches in despair as their hours of free time soak away in an instant. And woe betide the parent who thinks they’re on top of the school run. You might think you’re on time, but the Time Thief will suck away ten minutes when you’re not looking, so you’re forced to race to the school gate in pyjamas, force-feeding frozen crumpets to the children on the way.
Not content with stealing time, The Time Thief compounds his evil by leeching back his ill-gotten gains to parents already at the end of their tether. Spending the day indoors to escape the rain? The Time Thief will slip in a couple of extra hours when you’re not looking. Having the morning from hell with a teething baby and a tantrumming toddler? Be on your guard for the Time Thief, who will stretch the last hour till your hair turns grey.
Parents are warned not to approach the Time Thief, and encouraged to call Crimestoppers in the event of any sightings. Please share this information with anyone who may be vulnerable to time theft. Should you be affected by the contents of this public information report, please leave a brief comment below, and someone will get back to you.