There isn’t a lot about motherhood to satisfy one’s sartorial desires; flat shoes, non-iron fabric that won’t show the milk stains, bras you can fit your head in (until you stop breast-feeding, and swap your boulder holders for a Tammy Girl training bra, that is). Motherhood’s one redeeming fashion attraction, however, is the need for many bags. Of many shapes and sizes. In many colours. It is years before children become low maintenance enough to allow you to leave home without a change bag of some description manacled to your shoulder, so you may as well pick a desirable one. Over the last two years I have had a variety of beautiful bags, both big and small, and there is always a selection to choose from to match my outfit or my mood. The disadvantage of this fickle approach is that it involves keeping the content of at least seven nappy bags current and clean. Or not, as it appears.
Today I took the children out and made the mistake of grabbing the bag I thought would most suit today’s image (funky mummy with a sensible undercurrent AKA Fat Face dress with M&S shoes) Any bag I use SHOULD be packed with all the essentials for three under 3s. Barely an hour later, several miles from home and following a poo-mergency, I discovered…
2 spare vests, far too small for either of the girls
2 spare pairs of trousers. Ditto.
a change of clothes for the Toddler – dirty
a memory stick (so that’s where it’s been)
raisins
3 spoons
1 size 3 nappy
2 size 4 nappies (my children all wear size 5 nappies, of which I had none)
more raisins
a ten pound note
three packets of wipes, all dried up
another box of raisins
a sun hat
a Tommy Tippee cup
one sock
a condom
literally hundreds of nappy bags
7 pens (3 of which don’t work)
yet another box of raisins
I’m just not sure I’m prepared for all eventualities. The ten pound note would have been an excellent result, except that I had to use it to buy more nappies and a clean t-shirt. I have no idea what the condom was doing in there. A trip out with three pygmies, an upset tummy and no nappies is contraception enough.
So go and get your change bag (or your hand-bag, if you’re lucky enough to no longer need a nappy bag) and tell me what’s inside. Oh, and I’ll know if you’re hiding something from me…
Photo credit: !Bluebird