The chemist in my town is suffering from spate of shoplifting. I know this because there is a shiny new CCTV camera pointing at me as I herd the children inside out of the rain. In a further defensive move they have placed particularly tempting items in bulky Perspex cases which can only be removed […]
Going it alone
My son asks me if he can walk to nursery on his own today. “I’m a big boy now” he says. He will be four next month. I look at his earnest face and see how important this is to him. “Of course you can. I’ll just walk behind you in case you need anything.” […]
Yummy Mummy versus Scummy Mummy
Yesterday I wore a Jack Wills dress over skinny jeans. Today I’m wearing my husband’s tracksuit bottoms and a pyjama top. Yesterday my hair was blow-dryed and styled into sexy flicks. Today it is standing on end as though I’ve spent the entire morning rubbing myself with a polyester cardigan. Yesterday I wore kitten heels. […]
Which one’s the evil twin?
I’m quite sure it’s terribly bad form to declare your child to be Satan’s spawn, but that’s precisely how I felt when my daughters were small. From the outset G was charming and compliant, whilst her twin sister E was anything but. Her high-pitched scream curdled blood across a five mile radius, causing several complaints […]
Writing a book? That's novel.
Did I mention I am writing a book? I started it early this year – or it may have been last year. I stalled for a while, then polished up my first three chapters and sent them to an agent. The very next day she asked for the rest of the manuscript. I e-mailed a friend. “Oh […]
Losing the baby weight
When you’re pregnant there comes a point where you worry you’ll stay that big forever. It’s around the time you start wearing flip-flops because you can’t reach your feet and your husband’s gone to work without putting your socks on for you. You wonder if eating your own body-weight in Haribo was such a good […]