It all felt like a very good idea a few months ago. Now that I’m actually here ten kilometres seems like an insane distance to run, especially given that my training regime has largely consisted of eating cake and drinking Pinot Grigio. I really wish I’d gone for a different outfit – this sleek Lycra’s […]
Blog
Safe sex
The chemist in my town is suffering from spate of shoplifting. I know this because there is a shiny new CCTV camera pointing at me as I herd the children inside out of the rain. In a further defensive move they have placed particularly tempting items in bulky Perspex cases which can only be removed […]
Going it alone
My son asks me if he can walk to nursery on his own today. “I’m a big boy now” he says. He will be four next month. I look at his earnest face and see how important this is to him. “Of course you can. I’ll just walk behind you in case you need anything.” […]
Yummy Mummy versus Scummy Mummy
Yesterday I wore a Jack Wills dress over skinny jeans. Today I’m wearing my husband’s tracksuit bottoms and a pyjama top. Yesterday my hair was blow-dryed and styled into sexy flicks. Today it is standing on end as though I’ve spent the entire morning rubbing myself with a polyester cardigan. Yesterday I wore kitten heels. […]
Which one’s the evil twin?
I’m quite sure it’s terribly bad form to declare your child to be Satan’s spawn, but that’s precisely how I felt when my daughters were small. From the outset G was charming and compliant, whilst her twin sister E was anything but. Her high-pitched scream curdled blood across a five mile radius, causing several complaints […]
Writing a book? That's novel.
Did I mention I am writing a book? I started it early this year – or it may have been last year. I stalled for a while, then polished up my first three chapters and sent them to an agent. The very next day she asked for the rest of the manuscript. I e-mailed a friend. “Oh […]